Month: June 2014

My Promise To You

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“How much longer do you think that she’ll need her trach?”

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Number one most frequently asked question….

And I get it….I understand why……It’s something that I find myself wondering……

And not just for me…..or us…..but for her…….

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It’s the uncertainty and the unpredictability and the waiting…..that brings the most unsettling/anxiety provoking feelings……that makes this journey difficult…

But here’s our reality (and my best answer): I don’t know…..we don’t think that it will be forever……but we don’t really know what will happen……

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But “How much longer do you think that she’ll need her trach?” is the same type of question…….that I’ve heard since our NICU days…..

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“How much longer until I can hold my babies…..How many more days until extubation….How many more days will he be on C-PAP……How much longer until he is off of oxygen…..How much longer until he/she learns to eat orally…..How much longer will he/she need that medication…..How many more days until we get to bring her/him H-O-M-E (you NEVER say HOME when you are talking about your baby/child being discharged…..because as soon as you do…..they do something to alarm the doctors…..that warrants another few days in the hospital…..)”

So…..here’s the thing…..

When you are living a life of unpredictability…..and focusing solely on the future…..

You are inherently missing the present……

And I don’t want to wish away any more seconds…..

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So….

Here’s my promise to you Audrianna…..

I will trust that wherever your journey takes you…..no matter how long…..

I promise not to lose sight of today….

Whether you need your trach until you are 3 or 103….

I will be by your side…..living each and every moment….

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