Today. In You I See…..

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I see you Audrianna. As you are today. I see you, the amazingly bright, spunky, incredibly kind, and exceptionally compassionate little girl.

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But today, I recognize the little girl, today, whose tummy feels funny. A little girl whose heart is beating too fast. A little girl who knows too well about the hospital and all that goes with it. A little girl who, today, is crying because, today, at five, that little girl knows what it means to have to go for another evaluation and another appointment……

And I know, Audrianna, that you can’t see beyond who you are today and what you are worried about tomorrow.

But don’t worry, because I also see you Audrianna as you were the moment you were born. In you today, I see the 26-week baby, who weighed less than two pounds, and I heard your tiny cry……

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And then……in you, today, I see you and a continuous timeline…..

The first time that I held you….

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The first time that you failed extubation…and the 2nd….and the 3rd……and the 4th……and the 5th……the 6th…..the 7th……the 8th…..and the 9th…..

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The moment that we found out that you needed a trach…..

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And a gtube……

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Coming home…..And “meeting” Coley…..

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Your first birthday…..

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And your second…..

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Your big surgery….

Becoming a big sister….

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Deccanulation…..and your third birthday….

 

Your first dance class…and your first dance recital…..

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Your fourth birthday…..

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And your first days at preschool…..

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And your fifth…..

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And suddenly, I see the moment when you suddenly changed overnight…..when you woke up and cried because, you suddenly, seemed to notice that your voice sounded different from everyone else……

But don’t worry sweet girl, because in you today, I also see the incredible you that you will be…..I see you Audrianna, with a future full of possibility….and most certainly an abundance of love….

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